Jared Fiel: Humor Columnist

  • Don't get me wrong, I do like my job, I just hate the people I have to deal with, I should say the families I have to deal with. I work at a funeral home. I don't mind the deceased, they don't talk. But come on people, who let you leave the house like that? You are at a funeral home. I'm not saying that everyone has to be dressed in all black anymore, but maybe a nice pair of dress pants and a nice shirt? Is that too much to ask for? Oh, and you are here to pay your respects to the deceased not...
  • Donkey eats his buyer's money in Algeria; case in Supreme Court ABU DHABI, September 29 (RIA Novosti) - A donkey at an Algerian market ate the money of a man who came to buy him, making the unfortunate buyer and the owner wonder who the animal belongs to, an Algerian newspaper reported. Al Shuruk al Yawmi, a newspaper published in the northern Algerian town of Tizi Ouzou, said the customer and the seller were traditionally bargaining for price for too long and failed to notice the donkey consumi...
  • Ok so one day when I was at an amuzement park I was walking around in a short jean skirt. I didn't think it was that bad, but my friends kept saying it was too short "You'll regret it" they kept saying. Anyway, I got to this one ride which we had to go up stairs to get to, and of course the line stopped when I was on the steps. I started to feel really subconscious about who was seeing what. For whatever reason, I looked down right below me and saw this really creepy older guy looking up my skir...
  • LOUISVILLE, KY - Dapper Louisville Cardinals coach Rick Pitino is one of the many basketball coaches famous for being very well dressed at all times. But the always dapper Pitino is now sporting a very new look that will soon be made public. The reason? The Kentucky Association of Redneck Trash (KART), a little known but powerful organization with its regional office based out of a rundown shack in central Kentucky, decided they did not like Pitino's pinstriped corporate executive style and that...
  • it was already 9pm and the two bestfriends just got home from their long journey to buy a bread. on their way home, they brought some snacks. when they got home, they immediately ate the snacks. they talked about their upcoming fieldtrip. the boy's mother thought that the bestfriend were going to go out again.she looked at them with angry eyes "where are you going again?" she asked them. the two were just about to sit downthe boy looked at his mother funny "ummmm, we're going to sit down" they b...
  • Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets with President Bill Clinton. The instructor told Mori " Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how are you'. Then Mr Clinton should say"I am fine, and you ?" Now you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we translators will do all the work for you." It looks quite simple, but the truth is ...When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who Are You ?". Mr Clinton w...
  • Here are five different options for having more sexual fun in the bedroom that you may not have thought of attempting as of yet, but will after I tell you how to do them. I assure you I have tried these myself with highly satisfactory results (at least for me). First, a proviso. Do not attempt these movements if you have high blood pressure, emphysema, a dislocated shoulder, erective dysfunction, need to experience a major bowl movement within minutes, cannot control psychologically...
  • I have been trying to lose weight, tone up and fix the hair loss thing. I took so many fat burner pills. When the EMT’s found me they called it the worst case of spontaneous human combustion they had ever seen. I got some of those electric muscle twitching pads. But they didn’t work at all. So I scheduled a twenty minute visit to “Ole Sparky”, the electric chair at the Florida State Penitentiary Maybe that will help jump start me into losing weight. I got a package from the Hair Loss Cl...
  • The Trial It was family reunion time for the humans and they brought along all of their pets. To celebrate his birthday, the humans built a large ginger bread statue of Benjamin Franklin. The builders were a happy, cheerful group as they went about their work. They gave Franklin all of his wrinkles and bulges including an expanded waist line that was accentuated by a tight rumpled vest. Wire rim glasses rested on the tip of his nose and he was dressed in classy knickers. His hair flowed t...
  • I have decided to embark on a new career. I'm going to be a guest eater on the food network. It came to me while I was watching the Iron Chef battling on the food network. I saw all these good looking Japanese people dressed up and smiling at the great looking food. I was so excited. I immediately recognized the co-stars of Mothra and Godzilla III. And I knew this was for me.The mystery secret theme ingredient for the dueling Iron Chefs was cuttlefish. I had no idea the cuttlefish had three s...
About Jared Fiel
Daniel is a humor columnist (as well as a former reporter, former gas station attendant, former fast food worker and current public relations flack).
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