Jared Fiel: Humor Columnist

  •  For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn’t have faults, it is perfect. Pianists are the most perfectionist people in the world. They should not and can not make mistakes especially when performing. That is how I viewed the piano and the pianists. But then, I just found out I was wrong. A few researches and I have once again proven that appearances can be deceiving.The pianists we see play appear to be the most formal and respectable stars on the stag...
  • A Live Report From The Nathan Bedford Forrest Memorial Mobile Home ParkBy-G.L. Reed I live in Dixie Alley, that’s what part of Tennessee is being called now due to the disastrous tornadoes our state is experiencing. Folks who keep tabs say we have more fatalities per square mile due to tornadoes than Tornado Alley in the Mid-West. This is not a statistic we want to quote to potential citizens. Trailer parks seem to receive the worst damage when twisters strike. Of course we’re not supp...
  •  Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never sleeps" should visit The Maternity Ward. My recent visit included a drop-in on several screenings of "A Star Is Born" at the late-show theatre, right near Mama`s Breast (all night milk bar) and Papa`s Gas Station ("We burp you on your way.").To a chorus of infant cries, I drafted this column at 1:00 a.m. Of course, it was 3:00 p.m. In Tokyo, so I suppose it wasn`t so late after all.The whole experience of birthing seems to be a very ...
  •  Do you believe in the power of your convictions?It`s time to lighten up.People love attaching themselves to ideas. We can get pretty feisty when one of our beloved beliefs is challenged. We`re too busy defending to spend our time analyzing.Truth has a tendency to get in the way of our beliefs. We like having our rules to live by, our reasons for feeling righteous, and our excuses for ending intellectual exploration. Just as we climb up a ladder, we like counting on certain rungs to hold st...
  •  In Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the German police are in a quandary. The town’s dog poo is under attack. Park officials are desperate to resolve what could become an international incident. Unknown person or persons have been sticking little US flags into piles of doggie poo for over a year now.Surprisingly the dog poo brigade has managed to target between 2,000 to 3,000 abandoned piles of excrement in Bayreuth public parks. Quite who actually counted them all and ...
  •  Last week, I reported how writers, stay-at-home parents and online marketing geeks had chosen careers as hermits:http://www.thehappyguy.com/hermit.htmlThousands of work-from-home hermits responded, confessing that they were wearing their pajamas while reading my column. Fortunately very few sent me photos. Here are some of the questions they asked:Q: Is it acceptable to wear pajamas at high noon if Nobody sees me, or am I committing a fashion faux-pas.A: It is totally acceptable to wear pa...
  •  I often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready to start the day. When I was younger I`d whack the alarm clock, for the fourth time, grumble out of bed and stomp around with a major sour puss. Now I`m up before the alarm clock most mornings, and I don`t grumble, not as often as I used to anyway. I`m often anxious to see what the day will bring.I think I`ve stumbled upon the reason for my early rise and my cheery outlook. My wife. Yes, she brightens up my days and has given me tremendous motiv...
  •  Don`t you just love getting a little something extra? Sure you do. Everybody does. That`s why Online marketers throw in 36 bonus ebooks with that little software item they are peddling.But a little something extra is not always a good thing.Flash back a few weeks. I was assembling a dresser for my daughter. One by one, I pulled the wood panels from the box. I pulled out a bag of bits and pieces, which was attached to another, which was attached to another, which was attached to another...
  • It was just too hilarious to pass up. In 8th grade, my algebra teacher gave me an A+. I was immediately suspect, and have been ever since. Dedicated to Alex and Leland and for the benefit of Tinka and Susan.Teacher Arrested NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto...
  •  We all want attention. As children we crave the attention of our parents. Later in life, we want to be seen and noticed by friends and family. And when running most any type of business, we must attract the attention of our potential customers.But how do you get somebody`s undivided attention? When you were an infant, you got attention by screaming and crying. Then your parents knew you needed your diapers changed. As an adult, you can try using the same method to get noticed. Sure, you wi...
About Jared Fiel
Daniel is a humor columnist (as well as a former reporter, former gas station attendant, former fast food worker and current public relations flack).
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