Jared Fiel: Humor Columnist

  •  How can diet failure be your fault? After all you can always find some reason to blame the other guy for just about anything; isn’t that our training? I mean look at the Donald Trump "You’re Fired" reality TV Show, simply blame it on the next guy. Even Donald Trump blames the other guy, for instance his shows ratings have drooped, but he says it is Martha Stewart’s fault, because Her new show has stolen the viewers away.Last night we were trying to figure out who is at fault that you...
  •  Over the centuries, salesmen have had not the best of reputations.I`ve often wondered why this might be, as they are such truly wonderful persons, possessing many amazing skills and talents that quite elude the majority of the population.Now, I have come to realise that this has been counter propaganda by many a cuckolded husband down the ages, and think it`s time this was set to rights!So!Here are 15 reasons why salesmen ARE the best lovers because ...Salesmen are the best lovers because:...
  •  Want to know how to use direct-response in your personallife, for your next romantic "Hook-Up"?I saw this posted somewhere on a marketing board a long timeago and I thought it`d give you a good laugh going intoyour weekend.You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him andsay, "I`m fantastic in bed."That`s Direct Marketing.You`re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsomeguy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing atyou, says, "She`s fantastic in bed."That`s Ad...
  •  1. Fruit In The Looms2. Python`s Give Live Birth3. The Toad Elevating Moment4. Mystery Of The Lost Python Sketches5. Brian`s The Life Of The Party6. Kim Bread Aka John Cleese7. Around The World In 80 Days8. Get Yourself To Mars9. Keep It Real10. The 12 Fisher Monkey Kings11. Parting Shots1. Fruit In Your LoomsSomeone once said something along the lines that, Monty Python is to `funny` what chartered accountants are to `boring`. Who are we to disagree?2. Python`s Give Live BirthThe legend o...
  •  I really hate to complain (sigh) but when I‘m resting at the end of the day, I do NOT need Problems with my Cable T-V!My Puppy is biting at my big toe, my wife is yelling at me because I`m not helping around the house and I`M TIRED!My favorite football team is playing and I can`t watch it because it`s blacked out and Cable T-V charges too much!I`ll watch the news. What in God`s name is wrong now? The picture`s blurry!! .... Geeze, she`s yelling again and he`s humping my leg. I CAN`T Win...
  •  Just a few calories ago, the government revised the food pyramid. You can see it at http://www.mypyramid.gov/It has a snazzy new logo with a stick figure dashing up the Steps To a Healthier You on the side of the pyramid. It’s supposed to be in better tune with our complicated modern life, the latest Scientific Thought, and reflect a customized pyramid which better fits our lifestyle, not that there’s anything wrong with that. They have an animation, a mini-poster for the art-impair...
  •  Does you neighbors cats conveniently come to your house for an extra meal, stealing your own cat’s food? Damn those neighborhood cats anyway. It costs a lot to buy cat food and God knows you do not need to be buying food for all the neighborhood cats too, especially with your strapped budget with these Outrageous Fuel Prices. Three dollars a gallon; forget you me!If the neighbors cats eat $5.00 per week of your “Fluffy’s Food” that is a cost of over $260.00 per year. You could talk...
  •  The new Swimming Pool Vacuum Sweep Shark Simulation Robot will do many things to help your pool. Save lives and prevent yellow water human discharges.It also we maintain a set of highly sophisticated sensors to detect human urine. If a kid goes into the pool and does not obey the sign: “We do not swim in your toilet, do not pee in our pool” and decides to allow some yellow water to mix with your perfectly chemically balanced swimming pool water, then they will be punished immediately b...
  • I was on a site about Joan of Arc and was reading the frequently asked questions. When I got to the bottom I saw a weight loss advert which depicted flames and the slogan 'eat less, burn more'. Joan of arc was known to fast regularly....
  •  There is no doubt that the effects of hurricane Katrina (I`m sure glad they`re female again) will, in some way, impact everyone in the country. The storm has already destroyed billions of dollars of personal property and left thousands devastated and homeless. If you have not yet made a donation a good place to start is with the American Red Cross.There is a movement across the United States to help house those affected by this tragedy. Many all over the country are generously willing to d...
About Jared Fiel
Daniel is a humor columnist (as well as a former reporter, former gas station attendant, former fast food worker and current public relations flack).
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