Jared Fiel: Humor Columnist

  •  And then it happened! On the corner of his favourite Tamil daily page, inside this small rectangle space was a banner proudly proclaiming… “Find your life partner.” “Get married now!” It was an Internet matrimonial site ad. More so, an Indian matrimonial portal ad!!Now, Mr. Paul has 2 sons, both in their late 20’s, marriageable age, according to most Indian parents. Paul is familiar with newspaper ads. He’s been reading them for some time now and also has posted some ads for ...
  •  Last week I felt like the mother in the commercial, where her son shows her a good report card, and she starts to cry. My son is growing up. He pulled up his grades. I wish he could do the same for his pants, but one thing at a time.We visited a college campus this past weekend. He was happy to find out the school was seventy percent female and he liked the food. I was happy thinking I’ll have less laundry and that he was finally happy about going to school, any school.School was ne...
  • Well it was 1 in the morning and I had the flu. Then my girlfriend called me to go to her house and hang out. Me as a guy I accepted, when we hung up I felt my stomach hurting knowing I had to take a crap. I thought about it didn't cause I didn't want to smell like shit if we fucked. So when I got there my stomach was growling from pain but I ignored it. After an hour or so I was done with my business and left cause I couldn't handle my stomach no more, I stepped on the gas trying to cross a yel...
  •  I`m poor. And I`m not ashamed of it. Actually, I`m kind of proud of myself for being poor. It`s an accomplishment that many people will never attain. Some people will go through their whole life and never know what it`s like to experience some of the finer points of poverty like eating ramon noodles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner 5 days a week. My heart goes out to these types of people. The Fortunate Ones. People who`ve always had electricity, nice cars, and proper clothing.I wasn`t alw...
  •  Back in 1985, I had an experience which really was a set back for me. It was at a time when a lot of pressure was building. I wasn`t sure which direction I wanted my stained glass art to go. We had experienced a house fire and I needed to concentrate on rebuilding. I had sold the video rental part of our business, which was also the part that brought in income on a consistent basis. But I still loved stained glass, it was just that the shine was starting to wear off, it wasn`t as fun anymo...
  •  This just in ... The annual Thanksgiving Day parade in New York City started off as any other, until 11:30 am EST when a helium filled balloon attacked two unsuspecting parade viewers by entangling a lamppost and knocking it down into the crowd. Apparently, the disgruntled 515 lb. M&M inflatable parade decoration`s occupants felt quite unhappy about always being held down year after year, never being allowed to soar to their full potential.Witnesses say the 50 ft. tall blow up mascot, cont...
  •  One hot summer afternoon in August, a convenience store clerk leaned against the counter waiting for a customer to come along. Pretty soon a young boy entered the store, who looked to be around eight years old. This was the first time the clerk could recall having seen the boy come into the store. Getting inside turned out to be quite a chore for the child as he struggled to get the big door open without dropping an arm load of soda pop bottles he was carrying.As the boy brought his pri...
  •  It was a momentous day in the neighborhood as all the kids were buzzing about the next big thing to arrive on the block. Though nobody could pinpoint exactly how or where this new marvel had first appeared, we all knew it would be something significant; as soon as we could figure out what to do with it. The object of our new found fascination was actually a large wooden spool used for transporting heavy cable. Somehow, my friend had commandeered the empty spool. When stood up on its si...
  •  One day a hiker was traveling along a mountain trail. He had planned to follow the trail for several miles before retracing his steps back to the point where he started. Several miles down the path the climb started to get steeper and more rugged. As he continued on, the path grew more narrow. The man trudged upward, being careful to watch his step as the slope became more difficult. He began to wonder if it was a good idea to continue because a person might get injured if they fell ...
  •  My source at the Blair House told me a funny story the other day. It seems that Karl Rove stepped into the President’s bedroom and stood in front of the man-length mirror. He said, “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the greatest—““It’s not working right!”Rove tuned and said, “Mr. President! I was just combing my hair.”“You seem to be good at that, Karl.”Rove said, “Oh, there is no special skill required for comb—“I meant “Lying!”“Okay, I was using your m...
About Jared Fiel
Daniel is a humor columnist (as well as a former reporter, former gas station attendant, former fast food worker and current public relations flack).
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