Getting rid of a bad hair day

Have you ever got up and planned an important day only to find your hair will not cooperate at all? It just looks like crap? There is nothing you can do and everything you try makes it worse. So you just start all over and try it again? Still the same problem and the you look at the clock and say “oh well” I give up there is just nothing I can do, screw it. Yet in your mind you are worried because you do not look your best?

Perhaps hair number 1823 is slightly out of place and it is just ruining your whole day? What is someone suppose to do when your day is about to completely fall apart because your hair looks like a train wreck? Is there anything you can do? Yes, there is something and I have been observing people with bad hair days all my life, so here is my advice:

Shoot yourself you moron. My gosh what is your friggin problem your vanity is absurd; “ Bad hair day?” Yah, so what, that’s life you know. I tell you, if you cannot handle a bad hair day without slamming a bottle of Prozac or popping some anti-depressant type pharmaceutical drug, you really are not facing the reality of life on Earth and in which case you need to get a life. So just shoot yourself, get it over with and then in your next life maybe you will come back with perfect hair as a porcupine? Nice spikey and think and you will be well protected from predators and a bad hair day. You moron.

“Lance Winslow” – Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance;


About Jared Fiel
Daniel is a humor columnist (as well as a former reporter, former gas station attendant, former fast food worker and current public relations flack).
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