Columns
  •  For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn’t have faults, it is perfect. Pianists are the most perfectionist people in the world. They should not and can not make mistakes especially when performing. That is how I viewed the piano and the pianists. But then, I just found out I was wrong. A few researches and I have once again proven that appearances can be deceiving.The pianists we see play appear to be the most formal and respectable stars on the stag... more »
  •  Jimmy Jenkins Jr. Is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer. Far from it, Jimmy has had the same job, in the same office for 15 years. He’s got about 2 years of holiday time built up because he never, and I mean never, goes anywhere, not even to the Coast for a day in the sun. He works very hard, is an amicable fellow, but is single, 39 years old, and boring. Boring is this guy’s middle name. I don’t think he has any hobbies and he never has anything interesting to say, just small t... more »
  •  I will start this by saying that yes, I did miss being an April Fool, but only by a tiny margin. I was born just twenty minutes after midnight on April 2nd, and the events of the prior day in my home were quite interesting to say the least.To get the full story I must go back and remind everyone what medical tests were like in the 1970`s, they were improving, but still far from the reliability, and accuracy that we take for granted today.There were already four children in the house,... more »
  •  Put Active RFID Satellite Tags in SpongeBobsSpongeBob has been in the news a lot lately, he has been a kidnapped Victim. Instead of wasting time with an Amber Alert for SpongeBob, why not put an Active RFID Satellite Tags in the SpongeBobs so we can track them to the culprits.This would surely be a major deterrent to the kidnappers.Such a plan would insure the safe return of Hostages such as SpongeBob and catch the people terrorizing him?SpongeBob needs protection and apparently we could u... more »
  •  Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my new insurer sent a uniformed nurse with short black hair to my house to conduct a health assessment. We sat at my kitchen table and she officiously asked questions about my health history."Diabetes?" she asked, as if accusing me of illicit drug use."No," I answered."Cancer?" Nope."High blood pressure?" Nope.When she`d completed the questionnaire, she reached into a portable metal case and retrieved a white plastic cup. "Last t... more »
  •  I have heard the rumblings of many of you inReaderland about the recent spike ingasoline prices. In fact it`s all I seem to hear about lately. But at least it keeps you from rumbling about the infrequency of my columnsand articles. Nonetheless, I have decided to try to help you get through this crisis by generously providing: 3 Ways to Combat Rising Gas Prices!1. Don`t Drive Your CarThis is, of course, the most obvious solution.If you never take the old Plymouth out the driveway, then it w... more »
  •  Banish Loans ForeverIf ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank... the very first thing to get rid of would be loans. Absolutely no more loans!Because once they’re gone, there wouldn’t be any more:- Due dates- Interest charges - at any rate of interest- Late fees or penalties- Liens- Applications or rejections- Credit reports [Old joke - If it weren’t for bad credit, I wouldn’t have any credit at all]- Playing catch-up month after monthAnd that means all the related emotional f... more »
  •  Lactose Intolerant Individuals may prove a bonus in Space Missions. Lactose intolerant individuals have huge problems with gas from the inability to process certain dairy products and foods. Therefore such an individual after eating will create gas, methane, which could be used as fuel. There are methane based fuel cell units available and a few companies, which have such portable devices now. And some will be online soon;http://www.lbl.gov/Science-Articles/Archive/MSD-fuel-cells.htmlh... more »
  •  As the cloning debate of humankind continues we find ourselves in an interesting predicament. We see the need of self to extend past one’s own lifetime as an innate characteristic; self-preservation has always been one of mankind’s greatest drivers of motivation. World Religions in their haste to rally group support and social order amongst the masses have in fact been able to capitalize on this to a large degree, purposing the idea of eternal salvation for a promise of the individual ... more »
  •  You know the type -- that doodling type. Every time there is a pen and paper on the table, they will be sketching something down, with a mysterious smile, giggling quietly and making funny faces. Vlad Kolarov is no exception -- however, he has built a carrier out of His funny habit. If you are no Internet stranger, probably you have already seen His work. It might be a Yahoo ecard, or a funny cartoon on some web site, a greeting card or even His online portfolio (http://www.vladkolarov.com... more »
About Jared Fiel
Daniel is a humor columnist (as well as a former reporter, former gas station attendant, former fast food worker and current public relations flack).
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