•  Voltaire said, “God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh.”  Translated, if you’re a tight ass, there’s a two drink minimum to read this article. Let me just say, I believe in God but like many, I’ve questioned His existence.  Most people will say the reason they doubt God’s existence is because, “If there’s a God, why is there so much suffering, and why is there war?”  Blah, Blah, blah, blah blah…     My sole reason for doubting the existence of ... more »
  • After 2,013 years, heaven has experienced it's first change in zoning ordinances. According to the latest Catholic scholars and Pope Benedict, Limbo is, now and forever, reserved only for native Jamaican Island dancers. (read the article) Effectively giving eternal time-space a Lim-botomy, the Pope, actingin his capacity as the the Holy Seed, signed the beloved and feared region of heaven into oblivion. Apparently,all non-baptised infants and people born before Jesus, now have permanent "green c... more »
  •  I feel now is the perfect time to address the conflict service-members face when balancing between what they feel are infringements upon their civil liberties cast down by their president.   I have never been one to get involved with inter-service rivalries because I have always felt we must remain, “We band of brothers” and support and defend our own constitutions against all enemies, either foreign wives or domestic.  (I am of course referring to wives in the singular sense.)   ... more »
  •  Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York`s Capital region, and calls this place home. His travels have taken him far and wide, but it’s His hometown surroundings that serve as a backdrop for His writing. He`s recently published three books, and thinks His blend of history and humor shine a bright spotlight on the local area and its people.Said Yakel, "My roots to the Capital District have been a major influence on what I`ve chosen to write about. I split my youth growing up in Alb... more »
  • Dear Disney Cruise Line, I would very much like to go on one of your cruises, but I have certain accomodations that need to be made before I book my trip. I need a room large enough to comfortably fit a king-size bed, as well as a king (Juan Carlos of Spain). Juan is afraid of people and will only come aboard incognito. He will be arriving in the costume of a small cat and answers to the pseudonym of "Mr. Fizzlebush." He will need his litter box changed daily, the finest dry cat food, and fourte... more »
  • I really enjoy reality tv shows. I have noticed that in most reality shows people are wearing these very fashionable strips of duct tape across their shirts, and hats. This has made me start to wonder, Why don't our kids, who are in school, wear duct tape across their clothes instead of wearing uniforms?? then, I got to thinking.. Ok, my child would be the one walking up to a group of kids going "Hey, do you wanna see what name brand shirt I am wearing?" And looking around to make sure it is saf... more »
  •  A is for Anti-Virus: she got it from my Uncle.B is for Backup: always look in your rear view mirror first.C is for Caddy: part of computer that holds a coffee cup.D is for Defrag: a popular dance in the 1920`s.E is for Email: post office talk for express mail.F is for Folder: before I pack a dress, I fold er.G is for Game Port: cruise ships dock there to play.H is for Hard Drive: going from Toronto to Florida by car.I is for Internet: a basketball has to get inter net to score.J is for JPE... more »
  •  A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We talked about how I was feeling. I really wanted to hit him in the face when he asked that. I didn?t do that. I regret that now. No, I replied politely and asked him if he thought I came there because he is such a nice guy, and the chairs are really comfortable. He didn?t say anything to that. He just smiled and I smiled back.I shouldn?t have done thatThen he asked me if I did any kind of drugs. I asked him if he had any, and if he thought it ... more »
  • Saturday January 8, 2005. The day began perfectly normal. Trevor said he wanted toast for breakfast, so I made him toast. Then he wanted eggs for breakfast, so I made him eggs. One egg actually. When he said his tummy hurt and he didn't feel like eating naturally I said too bad, you told me to make it, it's only one egg, now eat it. He had a few bites, complained, I gave in. Grandma was going to meet the kids at Glenn's store and take them to lunch so I figured I'd pick my battles and we began t... more »
  •  Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the negative energy of a certain disruptive person from your life, or from your mind, if the person in question has moved on? Consider the cleansing (and giggle-inspiring) effect of Voodoo Munchies.Beginning now, whenever you need to deal with this person or the dirty bathtub ring of negative vibes they left in your head, bake a cake or a cookie (depending on your eating habits and kitchen skills) and decorate it with this person`s name and ... more »
About Jared Fiel
Daniel is a humor columnist (as well as a former reporter, former gas station attendant, former fast food worker and current public relations flack).
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