•  Down here in Dothan, Alabama we have a city park that’s been setup to give folks a feeling for how country life used-to-be. I guess these parks are probably springing up all over the country, I’ll bet in New York they have a park that teaches you what it’s like to get mugged, or to explain to a foreign cab driver where you’d like to go. Our park is a working farm, and also has a real old-fashioned soda fountain. I have no idea what one has to do with the other.There was a story ... more »
  •  When I shop for clothes, I keep it simple. I walk into the men’s store and say, “I want to look at some shirts.”The salesperson points to the shirts and I say “I’ll take this one and that one”.I’m out of there in less than 5 minutes. There are way too few hours in the day to be fussing over clothesIt’s a good thing that I’ve streamlined my clothes shopping to a quick and efficient science. Like most men, I have no natural fashion sense. The only real advice I ever got... more »
  •  Winston Churchill wrote that after he died and arrived in Heaven he would like to spend a good deal of his first million years painting. I`m no artist, except with the BS perhaps, so after I die I think I would like to spend a good deal of my first million years dancing Rock `n` Roll.But just what will Rock `n` Roll be like in Heaven? Perfect, of course. To begin with I will have a perfect partner who loves to dance with me only and gets it right 100 percent of the time. She will dress to... more »
  •  I was talking one day with my two teenage nieces—both sensible young women who apparently have never suffered through the dating experiences I had wrestled with. I started the conversation because I was curious as to the techniques and strategies of the mating dance in the 21st Century. After all, it was my casual observation that dating, as I knew it in the Sixties, had died some years ago.With patience and a healthy respect for elders, the girls gave me an inside look into their world,... more »
  •  Surrealist-TravelerAt the Doctors Office“What’s the difference between a crazy man who kills you and one who is not crazy (?) I would think they both are, or both are not. Isn’t killing without motive, simply against our values?” said Troy to his Psychologist.The good doctor looked at Troy, smiled, and laughed a little,“You been watching them courtroom battles haven’t you?”Troy smiled back.“Well, it’s simply documentation,” commented the good Doctor.“Do I have good ... more »
  •  Darkness descends outside the shallow limestone cave.The creatures inside, more ape than human, have paired onto their mats of mildewed grass and small, leafy branches, laying close to the walls for the minimal reflected warmth it might provide. Sleep will come soon, and the cave is quiet, except for a few snores.It has been raining for days, and the thatched brown fur that covers the bodies of the beasts is matted, wet, moldy and musky. In and out through the hairs on their skin crawl... more »
  •  STEP #3Experts are experts because they’re not the ones who are confused.The only way you can continue to be an expert is to make sure that you’re always one step ahead of your targets. If you lose that edge, then they are the experts and they’ll lose a reason to come back to you.Since the shelf-life of your expertise is dependent on repeat visits, it’s important to have just the right amount of confusion in your presentation to keep people wondering and asking for more.STEP #3, C... more »
  • Have you ever watched someone just completely lose their friggin' mind over the something? Anything?It could be as simple as someone not waving "Thanks," after you let them into a line of traffic.Or losing it cause someone forgot to put the milk back in the fridge.So the question stands."Have you ever just sat back and watched someone just completely lose it?"You wonder, "What kind of a person just spontaneously flips out like that?"Well I'm gonna tell ya!I'd been having the worst day.This morni... more »
  •  There once lived a man so ingenious, so dashing, so incredibly awe inspiring that he disappeared off the face of the earth altogether. He made a run for Hollywood fifteen years ago and his name was Yahoo Serious. His name recently came up in friendly conversation and the response was: Yahoo Who? I was beside myself. I have thrown together a little work up on the man in an effort to spread the word. With any luck, you will check him out and enjoy what dozens have fans have been enjoying for... more »
  •  I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future. (Richard Jeni)I worked some gigs in the Deep South…Alabama…You talk about Darwin’s waiting room. There are guys in Alabama who are their own father. (Dennis Miller) I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out. (Rodney Dangerfield)L.A. Is so celebrity-conscious, there`s a restaurant that ... more »
About Jared Fiel
Daniel is a humor columnist (as well as a former reporter, former gas station attendant, former fast food worker and current public relations flack).
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