Columns
  •  The day started out fine. I slept well and woke at 4:30 to email a fellow author who’s ghostwriting a book on The Power of Positive Thinking. I’d promised a few examples of my own philosophy. You know, the kind of stuff that is infused with optimism and oozes rhapsodic enthusiasm?The email was more of a treatise on coping mechanisms, or “How to be happy when the world around you crumbles.” I recommend “taking pleasure in the little things” and cited some examples that have help... more »
  •  While standing at the checkout line of just about any store, one can`t help but notice the vast array of "news publications" strategically placed for impulse shoppers. If anyone disagrees that the location of these fine works of journalism has nothing to do with spur of the moment shopping ... just look right below them and you`ll find the candy section, that for inexplicable reasons, is only 2-3 feet off the ground. Every week on my jaunt to the store, I look forward to this weeks excelle... more »
  •  There is no escaping it. He is.Now that may cause a downright sigh of relief to many men and women; that is, if you are a Dobson, Robertson, Falwell, type; you know, “Focus on the Family”, Family.org, “700 Club”, “moral majority”, et cetera. If by chance you are, consider this a confirmation of your beliefs and let’s part friends. God bless you. Good Bye.As for my devout catholic friends, the Rick Santorum folks, again the rest of this little opinion piece simply substantiate... more »
  •  The two main phrases in comedy writing are: "what if" and "anything goes". They are catalysts for generating funny ideas."What if" challenges your imagination and "anything goes" takes you beyond your imagination. With the combination of these two key stimulants, you will ultimately create a funny idea.Now let`s take a look at the thinking process behind the creation of a funny idea. Employing the two important phrases "what if" and "anything goes", means letting your mind run wild and fre... more »
  •  Definition #1:- A pinion is the edible nut of a pine tree.- O pinion is a nutty perspective held by a person (unless it is your own opinion, of course). The more opinions that get expressed, the nuttier the flavor of a conversation becomes.- A belief is an opinion masquerading as assumed fact in order to disguise its nutty origin.Definition #2:- A pinion is a toothed wheel, often also called a gear.- O pinion is a small, toothed wheel in the gearbox of someone’s mind. The wheels turn rou... more »
  • BROTHER EVANGELISTICTORONTOMISTICWITHATOUCHOFHUMANISTIC will be speaking at the "Fratchley Lodge" to discuss the new 'Rules of Membership' .So many now are trying to 'come out' of the "Christian Closet" and the new Atheist "Fratchley Brotherhood" feels that 'homosexuals' should be allowed to be Atheists and join the "Fratchley Boys " ." two thumbs up " ,,, says New York Times ." I love you Fratchley Boys " ,, Madonna was heard yelling after burning her Bible on National TV ." Darn Fratchley Farr... more »
  •  People are always curious as where do humorists get their wacky ideas all the time. Once awhile you may hit upon a funny line or silly joke, but to churn out an endless stream of funny ideas is no joke(no pun intended).So, where and how do the professional comedy writers do it? It`s all up in the head and the deep secret is the thinking process. The combination of creativity and imagination is the first step that will lead your thoughts to the funny finish.To be imaginative and creative, ... more »
  •  Owning a BMW reduces risk of Prostate cancer?A recent study by the American Cancer Society showed that men who had more than 20 ejaculations per month had a 33% reduced risk of prostate cancer and men who had between 13 and 20 ejaculations per month had a 17% reduced risk.A recent poll by the German magazine, Men`s Car, found that BMW drivers had more frequent sex than owners of any other make, with strangely, Porsche, at the bottom of the list, behind even Ford.So, it would seem to follow... more »
  •  Do you ever ask yourself why did I get out of bed today? Is this all there is to life? And where the hack I left my car keys?Don`t despair; it`s not too late to turn your life around! Well, unless you are really old (like 30); in that case I suggest alcohol. If you are still a useful member society (under 30), I gathered some life tips that without a doubt change your life in such a deep and profound way, you won`t even notice!So with all that said and down, now it`s time to seat down, lea... more »
  •  A British psychotherapist has astonished mental health professionals by claiming that Phone Sex may help prevent suicide.Doctor Alvin Booby—a therapist from London who specialises in treating chronic depression—made the surprising claim after listening to the testimony of a man who believes he was saved from certain death by the `healing` powers of 27-year-old Samara Tanz. The slim, vivacious blonde says she discovered Her unusual talent when Stanley Twytchen (46), rang Her number in m... more »
About Jared Fiel
Daniel is a humor columnist (as well as a former reporter, former gas station attendant, former fast food worker and current public relations flack).
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