Columns
  •  We all know someone who has bad breath. Still, you may not be current on all the slang associated with this unfortunate condition. Not to worry, my friend. I am here to provide you with more than a few descriptive phrases to use when referring to recurring bad breath, also known as halitosis. This is not meant to be amusing, but rather meant to provide a public service to those who want to classify people around them who have bad breath without appearing to be out of the loop. The las... more »
  • One day, a kid had an assignment. The kid didn't know the answers so he ask at his father what's the answer at number 1. But his father became angry and shouted "Quiet!". The kid writes it down at his paper. Next, he goes to his mother. His mother is praying quietly and says "Hail Mary Full Of Grace The Lord Is With You". He writes it down then at number 3, he asked at his sister. His sister is cleaning and singing "at the trash, at the trash". He writes it down then ask at his aunt. His aunt is... more »
  •  Chick: A hatchlingCapon: A castrated male used for meat. (How much could that yield?)Pullet: A female chicken under one year old.Hen: A female chicken over one year of ageRooster: A male chicken over one year of age.Raising Chickens for the first time can be intimidating. When I first called the Feed Shop, I was trying to sound like a pro. I asked, “Do you sell pullets?” “Yes”, the man replied. “Are they all females?” It’s been an uphill battle ever since.Pullet parenthood is... more »
  •  Yesterday I had the pleasure of speaking at Rutgers University in front of around 150 high school students, which was a lot better than speaking behind them. The subject was humor columns, so it goes without saying that walruses came up multiple times. I mean, so many times that I completely lost track. Like, at least seven times. As is evident from my enthusiasm, I felt proud to include walruses because they are left out of so many aspects of society: sleep-overs, camping trips, and e... more »
  •  Clothesline fresh, country fresh scent, smells like a country garden, those of us from the city have all seen our share of country clad laundry soap commercials. The token red barn glows in the distance.Closer in, clothes adorn the line. Each piece is so straight and evenly spaced you’d believe a team of sophomore geometry students hung them as their final class projects. Even more perfect, the lightest of breezes launches an ‘oh so soft’ billow along the stain free front ... more »
  •  NOT only does our technical knowledge help, but also presence of mind and the right answer at the right time. Even if you don`t know the answer for a question, just confuse the questioner.These are questions and the answers given by candidates. All of them are IAS (Indian Administrative Service) officers now.1Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!2Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it... more »
  •  Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, thetraffic built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and sofast that His chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six aday.So one day Farmer John called the sheriff`s office and said, "You`ve gotto do something about all of these people driving so fast and killingall of my chickens.""What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff."I don`t care," said Farmer John. "Just do something about these crazydriv... more »
  •  One afternoon, Joe went outside and found Gary standing on the roof of the garage. Since that seemed like a pretty cool place for a kid to be, Joe asked Gary how he got up on the roof. Gary pointed to a tree about fifteen feet from the garage and told Joe that he had climbed the tree, dangled from a branch, swung himself, and leaped over to the garage roof.Determined to accomplish a similar feat, Joe promptly climbed up into the tree, reaching a level that was several feet higher than the ... more »
  •  Viagra. That one word packs a lot of punch. Let`s face it; there is little that has been derided more than Viagra. On the talk shows, it has been the butt of more jokes than Michael Jackson and Saddam Hussein combined. For example:(OK, OK. I admit I was going to share an example or two, but I couldn`t find any clean enough to pass my censor`s well-trained eyes.)Of course, if you are not laughing yet from the jokes you could imagine I might have told, it may be because you are so fed up... more »
  •  Why is it, that any holiday, time off, or event, someone is sick? Do they plan it that way? I was sitting today, pondering, reminissing, and it came to my attention that every function I have ever attended had at least one of my family members sitting with the sniffles.I was 7 years old. It was christmas time, and I was sick with my appendix. That was a good one. Is it coincidence? Or is there some greater evil out there that enjoys watching suffering in times of joy. We should find him, a... more »
About Jared Fiel
Daniel is a humor columnist (as well as a former reporter, former gas station attendant, former fast food worker and current public relations flack).
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